Like, Totally Manry
by genericnamehere
Summary: Oooooold kink meme de-anon. America, Canada and Poland skip the World Bowling Championship for a TOTALLY manly sleepover. Complete with movies, video games, and Pretty Pretty Princess. Contains 90s board game references, US/Rus, Pru/Can, Pol/Liet and pot.
1. Chapter 1

_Germany pulled off his aviator sunglasses and looked around the room. He tried to anyway. All the black lights made it hard to make out much of anything besides flashes of bright colors._

"It seems quieter than usual." Japan adjusted his afro wig as he walked back over to the seats, making sure the computer registered his strike.

"I believe America-san mentioned that he was going over to Canada-san's place for a sleepover with Poland-san." Germany frowned a bit.

"They know that tonight was the annual World Disco Bowling Competition, right?" Japan nodded, and adjusted his wig again.

"America-san said he was getting tired of beating everyone all the time." They both turned their attention over to the next lane when there was a loud yell.

"Get your hands off of me, you frog!" England was flailing about, with France hanging on his back, trying to reach around and grope him.

"But polyester leaves so little to the imagination!"

Germany sighed then turned when there was a poke on his shoulder. He sighed again when he saw that it was his brother.

"Don't worry, West! I'll grab a crew and go drag them back for the fun! How can they say no to me?" Germany was about to say no, but reconsidered. If Prussia went to get them in Canada, they'd never be back by the end of the night. That meant that Austria wouldn't flip out because Hungary paid Prussia to harass him so she could take pictures. It was an annual disaster that he always wondered how to avoid.

"Yes, that's surprisingly brilliant, coming from you. Go ahead and do that."

Prussia grinned and turned.

"Now, who to bring with me? If America didn't want to come, he'll probably put up a fight..." He looked around. "Oi! Russia! You're not doing anything! Come help me drag America back here!" The larger nation looked over at him, then nodded and walked over, dragging a shaking Lithuania with him. Prussia nodded to himself as they left for Canada's house. Oh yeah, they had this.

Canada swatted the giggling nation off his arm, laughing a bit himself.

"You're not supposed to laugh at scary movies, you idiot. Aren't you afraid of them?"

America snickered again then took another puff when Poland handed the joint back over to him.

"I can't help it, bro. I mean...the chicks running and her tits just keep...bouncing! It's..." He started giggling again as Canada took the joint from him.

"Oooohmigosh! Like...I totally see it now! You're so right!" Poland started giggling with him.

Canada handed the joint back to Poland as something started beeping in the kitchen.

"Whatever...you two laugh it up. More pizza rolls for me." He snickered a bit as he walked out to the kitchen.


	2. Chapter 2

A half hour later, Canada found his way out of the kitchen with a half eaten plate of lukewarm pizza rolly goodness.

"Guys! Guys! It was so amazing!" America and Poland looked up from where they were hooking up the Xbox 360 to listen to Canada. "I stuck my hand in the oven to get the pizza rolls, and it was warm inside! Then, when I pulled it out, it wasn't warm anymore! I kept doing it and it kept happening!"

"Whoa...that is like, sooooo cool Canada! Ohmigosh, are those the pizza roll thingies? I want to try some." Poland got up and hurried over, taking some off the plate. "It's about time. I was like, sooooo hungry, and America ate all the popcorn."

Canada snickered and put the plate down on the table. America grabbed a controller and sat on the floor in front of him. When he reached for the plate of pizza rolls, Poland hit his hand.

"No freaking way! You already ate all the popcorn!"

America snorted then giggled. "No I didn't! You knocked it all over the floor, dumbass! It's down here."

Poland blinked and leaned over, looking at the popcorn scattered around Canada's feet. "Oh wow..." America giggled again because Poland looked hilarious with his nose practically to Canada's toes. "...Canada, you totally need a pedicure. Oh! Like, I can do it! I brought my stuff!"

Canada snickered then nodded. "Yeah, ok!"

America leaned back so he was against Canada's legs and looked up at them, suddenly disinterested in his game. "What about me?"

Poland looked at him thoughtfully. "Oh honey, it will take more than a pedicure to help you."

_Germany sighed as he watched Denmark, Norway, Finland, and Sweden do their choreographed victory dance. On rollerskates. While singing "Dancing Queen."_

He didn't feel like reminding them that just because they beat the team of France, England, Spain, and Belgium in the first round didn't mean they won the whole thing.

It may or may not have been because he was too busy trying to block out the image of Denmark in hotpants. He vaguely wondered if his brother was having any success.  
  
Russia sighed as he pulled Prussia's arm. "I'm fairly certain that Canada's house is this way. This is America's house."

Prussia pulled his arm back and peered in the window again. "Are you sure you're sure?"

An alien's face suddenly appeared in the window, nose to where a nose should be through the glass. The three nations yelled and turned, running. North seemed like a good direction to go, after all.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN: This is probably a good time to mention that I have never been high before, but have plenty of friends and a brother who have been. I don't know what goes through their minds when they are high, but this is definitely what it comes off as to the one watching it


	3. Chapter 3

_Germany sighed as he watched North Italy celebrate his first strike of the evening. He probably would have gotten more by now had he not been wearing those ridiculous tie-dye patterned platform heels._

Germany may have gotten more strikes himself had he not been constantly distracted by that fact that North Italy was also wearing a mini skirt with a gold hoop belt and a halter top.

"Germany! Look! I got a strike!" Oh God. How could he jump like that in those shoes?

"So, do you really think this will make me look pretty?"

Canada looked down over America's head, where he was putting his hair in little braids.

"Oh, yeah, definitely. Absolutely, America. Right, Poland?"

Poland looked up from where he was finishing up Canada's pedicure. "Totally! You look soooo cute like that! Oh! Oh! You know who is like, so pretty?"

Canada raised a brow. "Me?"

Poland and America laughed.

"No! Well, you're cute, too, honey. But I totally meant Lithuania. He's, like, so adorable! Don't you think so?" Poland sighed and picked up a bottle of nail polish. "It's too bad he's so hung up on Belarus."

"Oh, really? Because I heard he was over that. She broke his hand again, and he figured out she didn't like him…" America looked at the bowl in his hands. "Did I do this right? I mean...it's all...green."

Poland glanced at it briefly before turning back to painting Canada's toenails.

"That's exactly what it's supposed to look like. Now, you just have to, like, spread it on your face. Your pores are totally _screaming_ for it..." He pulled Canada's foot closer. "Stop that!"

Canada jumped a bit, yanking on America's hair as he did.

"Ow!"

"Sorry! It's cold!"

Poland rolled his eyes then looked at America.

"Where did you hear that from? About Lithuania?" America frowned a bit as he poked at the green substance in the bowl. That had to go on his face?

"Uhm, I was talking to France, who heard it from Spain, who overheard Hungary telling Prussia that she heard it from Lithuania."

Canada glanced down at America again. "Did France mention anything about Prussia?"

Poland laughed a bit as he set down the bottle and started blowing on Canada's nails. "Someone's got a crush!"

Canada flushed a bright shade of red.

"Do not! I was just curious, since, you know, he's not allowed to come to the world meetings anymore."

America laughed and nodded. "Actually, he said that Prussia's been asking around about a certain Great White North."

Poland snickered as he moved to the other side of America to start working on Canada's other foot.

"Hurry up and, like, put that on your face. You want to look good for Russia, don't you?"

America gasped and looked at Poland. "How did you know?"

Prussia shoved Lithuania out of the way and looked in the window. Russia sighed as he leaned against the wall.

"What do you see?"

Prussia and Lithuania exchanged glance, then looked at Russia.

"They're...they're chicks, bro."


	4. Chapter 4

America snickered as he dialed the number on the phone and held it to his ear, listening. Canada passed the end of the joint over to Poland, and pulled out his checklist.

"What did he say?"

America stuck his tongue out at him. "It's a secret!"

He giggled again as Poland reached over, grabbing the phone from him. "It's totally my turn!" He drew a card and frowned. "Aw man! It's a Speakerphone card!"

Canada kicked the side of Poland's head from where he was sitting.

"Well, then hurry up and call!"

Poland snickered as he finished off his hit then picked up the phone, dialing the number.

_"He's not at the beach."_

Canada marked off his card and his eyes widened. "I know who it is! It's Dan! Dan, my man!" He grabbed the phone from Poland and dialed quickly.

_"You're right, I really like you!"_

Canada squealed in joy then brought his hands up as Poland and America attacked him with their pillows.

Prussia's jaw dropped as he watched from his perch outside the window.

"It's like we're...watching a...a..."

Lithuania looked up at him. "A sexy train wreck?"

Prussia nodded. "Exactly."

Russia pulled out a bottle from inside his jacket and took a long swig from it. "I'm going in."

Prussia and Lithuania's eyes widened as they reached over, pulling him down as he started to stand again.

"Are you crazy? Didn't you see what they had in that game pile? Ask Merlin! Pretty Pretty Princess! Dreamphone! You'll end up getting a manicure, too! Did you see their faces? They're green! Green! America has curlers!"

"Hold on! I heard something outside! Let me check what it is!" The three nations froze as they heard America's voice draw closer to the window, and pressed themselves against the wall as much as they could.

_Germany sighed as he watched the scene with Italy in his lap. He had decided that it would be a good place to sit. ...Alright. He might have been the one to pull him there, but that was merely because everyone kept giving him lecherous stares when his back was turned!_

He had always attributed the insanity that the competition seemed to descend into every year to America and Prussia. But, it seemed, he had been sorely mistaken. It was almost like the two nations had never attended World Disco Bowling in previous years.

But then what caused this? The only thing being served was soda and punch!

Belarus scowled as she watched the other nations getting more and more stupid. This was the worst competition ever.

What was the point of spiking the drinks to get her brother drunk, if he wasn't even there?


	5. Chapter 5

_No one was bowling anymore. The owners of the bowling alley were getting quite angry, but were still too afraid to approach the crazy people who had taken over their establishment. Germany supposed the cops would get called in._

Now that he was thinking about it, America would have been separating England and France by now. Where were England and France?

He looked around and sighed when he found them. They had gotten into a fight, again. They were on the bowling lanes, and the wax had caused them to fall to the ground. That wasn't enough to stop them though. They kept flipping each other over as they gained ground against each other.

Germany just watched as they fought, rolling down the aisle, until they reached the pins, knocking them over and rolling down into the pit below.

"Germany, look! They got a strike!"

Prussia had never known terror before this day. America had caught them, and if they thought his being high would be any help to their escape they were sorely mistaken.

He was less restrained than usual.

He didn't quite recall the details, but they somehow had been captured, and he and Russia were now sitting on the couch with their arms tied behind their backs.

He swallowed heavily as the three countries stared down at them, with their arms crossed. They had at least washed the green stuff off their faces, but America still had his hair in those ridiculous braids and curlers, and Poland had taken the crown out that Princess game to wear.

Lithuania, the traitor, was standing off to the side, watching, wearing the jewelry from the game. 'A small price to pay for freedom,' he had said.

Well, this mission was just a total failure.

"I think..." Canada spoke up finally, and Prussia swallowed, dreading the sentence about to be passed down on them, "...we should play another game."

Poland nodded his approval, and Prussia hung his head. He was going to die here tonight. Death by cheesy board games and destruction of his masculinity. He hadn't even thought to write a will before they left. What happened to his awesomeness? Was it so easily defeated?

"But, like, what game?"

America rubbed his chin in thought. "How about Truth or Dare?"

Poland nodded thoughtfully, but before he could confirm it, Lithuania spoke up.

"How about Spin the Bottle?" Oh God No. Prussia looked over at Russia, who was just sitting stoically. Or maybe that was boredom? How could he be so lax about this?

Thankfully, or maybe not, Canada decided to throw in his suggestion.

"Let's play 7 Minutes in Heaven!"


	6. Chapter 6

_Germany sighed as he walked down the lane, with Italy hanging on his arm, trying not to slip on the surface in his platforms. When England and France knocked over the pins, they had triggered the machine to replace the pins._

They also jammed the machine. It was, rather noisily, rising and falling, repeatedly trying to replace pins it couldn't get.

England and France still hadn't come up from the pit.

Employees had gone to fix it, but returned quickly, traumatized, and told the owner they quit before running away.

Naturally, this meant Germany had to take care of it. He got to the pit and glanced down.

"Hey Germany! They're wrestling like they do in your leather and whip magazines!"

Prussia's eye twitched slightly as he shifted to get America's foot off his lap. Poland had dared Russia to let America put makeup on him.

He still hadn't figured out why that required America to sit in Russia's lap though.

"You're being such a good sport about this, Russia," America giggled as he held Russia's chin in his hands, leaning close as he put the fire-engine red lipstick on his lips.

Russia nodded a bit as America finished and sat up, still in his lap. "Da. Then maybe you can untie me soon?"

Poland shook his head. "Don't do it, America. Okay Russia, it's your turn now."

Russia sighed and looked at Canada. "Canada, truth or dare?"

Canada thought for a moment, then nodded to himself. "Truth."

Prussia blinked. He had expected dare, as that's what the other two had been choosing and giggling about the whole time.

"Who was someone that you could have had sex with, but chose not to, and why?"

Lithuania nodded a bit as Poland rubbed his chin. "That's a good question. I totally didn't expect it!"

Canada looked at his hands. "Uhm...Cuba."

Prussia frowned slightly. He got to the point where he had to decide whether he wanted to have sex with Cuba? That was just...not awesome! Not that he cared, of course.

Russia raised a brow. "And why not?"

Canada turned bright red and seemed to be making a point of not looking at America. Prussia figured that was a feat in itself when America was still all over Russia's lap and he was answering Russia's question.

"I was afraid he'd call me America when we were having sex!"

Everyone just blinked. America turned a weird shade of red and something mimicking the green they had worn before. It was like he wasn't sure if he wanted to be embarrassed or sick at the thought, so he did both instead.

"Uhm...wow. Ok. It's, like...your turn to pick someone, I guess." Even Poland seemed disturbed.

Canada nodded and looked around the room. "America."

From his happy little perch in Russia's lap, America grinned. "Heroes always pick dare!"

Prussia rolled his eyes. Sure.

"Go in the bathroom, take off your underwear, and wear it on your head the rest of the night."

Prussia would have rolled his eyes at how juvenile it was, if America hadn't turned a bright shade of red. He couldn't resist the urge; he had to ask.

"What? Hero is too afraid to do it? What happened to being the only nation that might have been as awesome as me...if I hadn't found out this is the girly shit you do in your free time anyway."

America shifted a bit where he was sitting, and Prussia noted that Russia shifted a bit himself in response, choking on air. Aw, no, dude. Seriously?

"What...what if I'm not wearing any underwear?" America at least had the sense to be embarrassed about that, but Canada didn't miss a beat.

"Then use Russia's."

Poland laughed as America got off Russia's lap, pulled him up, and dragged him into the bathroom.

"Like, he can do one when he gets back out. Lithuania, truth or dare?"

Lithuania startled a bit then smiled. "Oh, uhm, truth, I guess."

Poland thought for a moment. "Okay, so, like, what would you do for a Klondike Bar?"

Lithuania thought for a moment, and then tilted his head to the side. "I can't just buy them?"

Prussia hung his head. This was getting lamer by the minute. "Oh come on! Can't any of you people come up with something good? This is so stupid! I didn't even want to come to this girly sleepover, and you don't even know how to play this game right!" No one had to know he was the one that volunteered in the first place.

Lithuania was grinning, and Prussia felt a chill go down his spine."Alright then, Prussia. Truth or dare?"

Prussia looked to the side as America and an untied Russia came out of the bathroom. America was wearing Russia's boxers on his head like it was a natural thing to do. He then looked back to Lithuania.

"Dare."

Lithuania grinned and pulled out a bottle. "I'm going to spin this bottle, and you have to go in the closet with whoever it lands on for 7 minutes."

Prussia narrowed his eyes. "Alright then." Ok, so he had to sit in a closet for a few minutes. With...one of these girly guys. Great.

Lithuania set the bottle down and everyone watched it spin until it came to a stop. Prussia followed the trail until he found that he was looking at Canada. Alright, at least it would be someone safe.

Poland and America started squealing when they realized who it landed on. What was their problem? He looked at Canada again and swallowed heavily as he noticed the predatory look he was getting.

Maybe it wasn't so safe after all.


	7. Chapter 7

Germany walked up to Canada's door and frowned slightly as the peculiar scent of smoke wafted into his nose. Great, not only did he have to convince the police not to arrest the nations at the bowling alley for public nuisance...again...but he was going to be dealing with a bunch of high, immature nations. It was no surprise Prussia never made it back. He knocked and waited.

When no one came to the door, or even replied, Germany frowned a bit more in concern. Perhaps they had gotten a bad batch? Annoying as it was, he had to make sure they were okay. With that in mind, he let himself in, hurrying out to the living room.

As soon as he got there, he wished he could turn back time and just leave.

The place was a total mess. There were movies all over the floor. The XBox was on, with a game's opening video running on loop. Germany idly wondered how long it had been on. It was just doomed to a red ring death now. There were cards with pictures of guys and their phone numbers scattered on the floor, mixed in with gaudy plastic jewelry. There were kernels of popcorn everywhere. Everything was wet from a bottle of liquor that Germany guessed had been knocked over and kicked around.

But that wasn't what held Germany's attention. He found that he couldn't stop staring at the scene before him.

Poland and Lithuania were painting each other's nails. That wouldn't have been so bad, if they weren't whispering sweet nothings to each other loudly, giggling, and exchanging quick kisses as they did so.

America was giving a very eager Russia an erotic lap dance on the sofa and -were those someone's boxers on his head?

He quickly looked away, scanning the room for the obviously missing presence. He regretted it before he even asked, but he was compelled to know.

"Where's Prussia?"

America paused in his lap dance to look over at Germany, and, not even caring that someone had been watching what he was doing, motioned over to the closet. He looked like he was about to say something, but before he could, Russia had hooked a hand around the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss.

Germany was fairly certain that whatever he found in the closet wouldn't be pleasant.

Sure enough, when he opened the door, the first thing he saw was the back of Canada's head providing a censor for his brother's lack of pants. He was about to close the door, but noticed Prussia's arms start flailing a bit. Or they would have been flailing, if they weren't tied behind his back.

Germany sighed, braced himself, and grabbed Canada by the shoulders, pulling him off Prussia, ignoring the nation's protests. He then reached over and undid the tie that been shoved in his brother's mouth and tied around his head. As he undid the binds, Prussia turned to him, still flustered and breathing heavily.

"Oh man, bro. The first hour it was awesome, but I didn't know how much more I could take!" Germany blinked a few times, but Prussia continued before he could ask what he meant.

"Man, I had the best idea. Next year, instead of bowling, we should definitely have a World Sleepover. Think of how awesome it will be!"

Germany stared at him for a moment then retightened the ties around his waist, turning to walk out of the closet. He could stand to stay there another hour or two.


End file.
